You’re Not Broken, You’re Becoming: Fertility, Motherhood + Feeling Less Alone - Dr. Sanam Shamtobi
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Sanam Shamtobi — licensed clinical psychologist, perinatal mental health specialist, and founder of The Mother Hood — for a conversation that gently and honestly validates the emotional reality of becoming a mother.
Sanam had nearly 15 years of experience as a psychologist and felt completely resourced heading into her own motherhood journey. And still — postpartum anxiety caught her off guard in ways she never expected. That experience reshaped her entire career. She signed the lease on The Mother Hood's office the day after her daughter was born.
We talk about the core beliefs hiding underneath postpartum fears and intrusive thoughts, the grief of early motherhood that so often gets missed because mothers are expected to simply feel grateful, the concept of matrescence — the lifelong, repeating identity shift of becoming a mother — and why, no matter what you're thinking or feeling, you are not crazy and you are never alone.
Tune in!
Key insights:
Why even well-resourced, well-prepared women get blindsided by postpartum anxiety
The core beliefs hiding under intrusive thoughts: "I'm not good enough," "I'm going to fail"
The grief of early motherhood — and why centering the baby instead of the mother misses the mark
Matrescence: the lifelong, repeating identity shift of becoming a mother
Why perfectionism is really just an illusion of control
How Sanam catches herself cleaning instead of being present — and what shifted it
Self-care isn't one-size-fits-all — and the guilt that comes with "getting it wrong"
What changes in friendships after kids, and how to hold space for that grief too
Why therapy is one piece of the puzzle, not the whole solution
The Mother Hood's at-home, virtual + in-office therapy model
Dive deeper with us!
The conversations don’t end here, they ripple into real life.
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